I NEED A HOME, NOT A HOUSE

When I was a kid, All that I needed was a home not a house.
A home full of Joy, happiness, love, understanding, care and attention but things weren't as it seems to be.

Even though we live in a house not a home.
As a kid growing, I always find out that my mother will hide her tears from me because she didn't want me to see .
I always heard and saw my parents fighting, auguring and shouting with each other at dawn.
My father will leave ma mum crying and go out  after their quarrel.
I could see ma mum's tears from a distance but  she will always hide from me when she come close to my room to see if I'm asleep.
I could see there was no love and understanding between my parents. Whenever I get closer to my father, he will neglect me, pushe me away and will never smile with me.
I started to dislike him, I hated him and never wished to see him .
Things were not good as people saw it to be, they thought, "since they have a nice house they have a home." That house was never a home.

 A home should be as sweet as the people staying in there. There should be happiness, understanding, love and care even if there is no money.
I grew up in a house of pain and sorrow. There was no love.
Ma mum died at the edge of trying to change the situations in our house.
Ma dad married me off and three years later he also pass on.
I gave birthday to 2 sons for my husband but couldn't love them..

There wasn't any love,care ,attention for them because my heart was full of pains, hatred and agony of sorrows.  I was exposed to that odd behavior of a father.
I couldn't love ma husband nor children cus that heaviness of pains created a big vaccum inside me..
I wasn't brought out from a length of love.
I later realised my actions were turning things differently in my own home. The mess I created begun disconnecting me from my parents.
So I sat down and decided to kill the pains in me with love.

It wasn't easy but I cried out my pains from childhood not because I'm weak but I have been strong enough. The tears was a way to pull out my pains and start building love, care and attention for my family.

Moral lesson
The heart is a very good fertilizer because what ever we plant inside either been love, hate, fear, revenge, jealousy etc. It will surely grow and bear the fruit we want to cultivate. So decide what you want to harvest at the end.

Owusu Pomaah Hannah